Ah, the simple images one conjures up when thinking of BMX XXX. You have to admit, no matter what you think of the idea of the game; it was pure genius to do it. For one, the buzz surrounding the game (both positive and ‘ban it!’) only helps to drive up interest, much more than the title of Dave Mirra BMX 3 did. Maybe it’s the innovative content of having a ‘mature’ extreme sports game, or maybe it’s just the fact that young, hormonally-charged teenage boys really do run the industry with their purchases, but for whatever reason, BMX XXX now sits here on the Xbox. So how is it?

Surprisingly, not as bad as people will have you believe. Since we did receive our copy late, we couldn’t help but notice the buzz from the press surrounding the game after its release had taken a rather nasty slant. Like an anti-Vice City, game rags played a game of having one or two initial leaders that thrashed the game, and everyone else jumped on board… lest they look like idiots. Well, we had the cajones to give GTA Vice City an 8 (a score TechTV actually agreed with in a well-written review), and I’m here to tell you now that BMX XXX has some major faults, but isn’t as bad as people would have you believe. I view it more as a grand sign of hypocrisy. “Pshaw”, says the average gamer, “videogames aren’t about the women”… all while they’re in the checkout line with their Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball pre-order. I think most gamers who pass off BMX XXX as a novelty or gag will actually be surprised. The game’s ‘innovative content’ is actually very tame; it’s a game that is more geared for the big-time BMX fan who’s had his share of wimpy games in the past. Perhaps one of Z-Axis’ greatest faults with BMX XXX was making a game with gameplay specifically geared towards the fanatic of the genre, while targeting the presentation square at the mass market. Naturally, when that happens, mass frustration will ensue. But if you’re a fan of Dave Mirra 2 or the Matt Hoffman series, you at least need to give XXX a try before simply passing judgment and walking away.

For those ‘not in the know’, BMX XXX has made a name for itself because it’s the first mainstream videogame to feature nipples. Naturally with such a large outcry over the game, you’d think it involved much more extreme stuff, but the truth is that the content is fairly tame when it comes to the nipples. Instead, the game earns its M-rating by dishing out the swearing and jokes one finds on late-night Comedy Central. “F***” for example, is yelled by everyone and anything in a level practically, animate or inanimate. It’s true in all cases that I’ve seen worse things on cable TV than in BMX XXX, but it’s actually refreshing to see a game that doesn’t compromise on what its vision will be.

The humor is of course, questionable. As highbrow as my tastes are in film, I keep surprising myself that I still find such things hilarious. It’s like I should know better, but deep down inside, if you’re under 30 than some small part of you at least still finds fart jokes funny, and still thinks pimps look hilarious. It’s this kind of audience that BMX XXX clearly delivers the goods to, although the younger under 16 you are, the better. After that you gradually begin to find it less and less funny, but it still scores points for simple shock value. The actual jokes are sometimes subtle, but most of the time blaringly obvious. If you are able to see phallic shapes in objects, than you’ll get every joke in the game. As far as humor goes, it’s very hit and miss. Some things did actually have me laughing, while other things were only mildly amusing.

So far we’ve managed to talk about everything presentation-wise and completely overlook the gameplay. Let’s put it this way – for a game that’s post-Aggressive Inline and post-Dave Mirra 2, there are many things that just shouldn’t be. For one thing, the advances made in mission structure (pointing out where objectives are) from Inline did not make into this game, making the challenges tough to pin down, and when you are given a challenge, you often spend a lot of your first time through just trying to find out where to go. A little map or the objectives screen with a picture of the place you need to head would have made the game twice as clear, and subsequently more fun. Many people have also had an issue with ‘repetitive objectives’, but this is not that big a deal. I shouldn’t need to remind people that even the venerable Tony Hawk franchises features some repetitive objectives that never change, like the secret tape, collecting SKATE or doing High Point scores. People didn’t take much issue to that, so they shouldn’t mind the few challenges that BMX XXX tries to keep the same. For example, in every level you will need to collect 45 of some object spread across the level, there are usually at least one – usually several – challenges per level involving picking up and dropping off people, and the usual challenge that is really a high score challenge in disguise. Since the levels change though, I don’t take as big an offense to the repetitive missions, especially since there are the occasional pure nuggets of gold. My favorite challenge in the entire game would be the one where you have to beat up the unnamed boy band in Syracuse by having them grab onto your pedals and then just going nuts. It was disturbingly satisfying…

However, missions mean nothing if the control is off-center. In all honesty again, problems show up in BMX XXX’s control layout that should not be there. Some of this has to do with the fact that the game is pointed more at BMX game nuts than the mainstream, so the game isn’t very accessible in the start. You will crash… a lot. You will have your ass handed to you… a lot. This will happen for several hours if you’ve never played a BMX game before, or are simply no good at it. Many people take the pick-up-and-play nature of Tony Hawk for granted, because this game is definitely not beginner friendly. The crash system is a bit awkward, as there is no way to do quick bailouts to save you from disaster, and being on a bike means the range you can land on a halfpipe without taking a spill is greatly reduced. The sense of speed is good though, as are the tricks. They are reasonably easy to execute, even if the flips are too easy to activate. I often found myself accidentally flipping and crashing in the beginning simply because I got too into it. One of the things that XXX has that Mirra 2 doesn’t would be the flatland trick system. Since the levels vary from either being packed or somewhat empty, it’s important to have a system that gives the opportunity to link moves and gain more points when there aren’t many opportunities around. The flatland trick system does that, although it is tough to get into first. Once you enter a manual, pressing X and a direction button will start a flatland trick, but has the same control as a grind. Simply watch your balance and stop before you embarrass yourself and lose the points. This is absolutely great for competitions, and it’s a neat tool for linking combos, but it takes a lot of practice. Many people like myself are used to simply using manuals as a quick method to get from one grind to another, while the flatland system challenges players to make the manual just as effective point-wise as a grind. It’s an interesting inclusion at least, and one I’m sure other games will ape off of soon enough. It’s just too bad that BMX XXX didn’t take enough pages out of Aggressive Inline, an opus of a game that rivaled the best. The game had so many breakthroughs in easy playability that probably should have been copied here. In the end, BMX XXX is a tough-as-hell game packed with a sweet candy shell. If you don’t like the humor, you probably won’t like the game. And if you don’t like BMX games, you definitely won’t like the game.

The graphics of BMX XXX aren’t really up to the Xbox’s true caliber for sure, and in many ways I consider them a step back from Inline. I know you’re sick of the comparisons, but there are things here that are done right too. For example, the level size is absolutely gigantic with practically zero slowdown and no visible draw in. That’s something Vice City couldn’t do! The levels are roughly three times those in Tony Hawk 4, to just pull a number off of my head; the point being is that they are huge. They are visually sparse though, with plenty of NPC’s and traffic everywhere (for most levels) but not many different buildings or textures. The design of the levels also gives something to be desired. The character models are different; as they take more of a cartoony, stereotyped look than the realism most games are going for nowadays. In that sense, the cloth textures are at least one game generation back, and the models lack good skin texture. They are crisp, clear and well animated though. The bailouts in particular look very neat. I should also mention here that the Create-A-Rider system has hundreds of customization options, and in that sense the riders look very good. But their physique is boxier than it is natural, and that’s no good when a lot of gaming perverts will be quickly creating topless riders (but slow down there sport, you need to beat a lot of the game before that option even becomes available!) I should probably also mention here that the FMV work is good, if you get my drift.

The sound is probably the most offensive part of BMX XXX, if you were actually keeping track. It’s also the funniest. Most of the humor is not delivered through timeless depictions of potty humor, but in the hilarious voice work that accompanies them. It’s the environmental noise that will get a chuckle too, as the NPC’s say some rather ‘unusual’ things to each other when they think no one is listening. Fun for the family it is not. Aside from the voices, most of the sound effects are the same generic ones that were in Dave Mirra 2, with a few new moaning sound effects added for exiting menus. Yay! The Xbox version of BMX XXX sports customized soundtracks, which is always a good thing, especially if you have as eclectic a music library as I do. Something about riding around the game listening to Eric Clapton just seems like a good mix. However, the custom soundtrack feature has a weird glitch where the first track will be repeated after every challenge FMV, meaning it’s almost more trouble than it’s worth. The actual soundtrack included on the game isn’t bad though. A few too many tracks by one-hit-wonders (‘Downfall’ by Trust Company, or something?), and a few too many tracks thrown in for no other reason than that they fit BMX XXX’s theme nicely. ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’ by Motley Crue, or ‘Lap Dance’ by N.E.R.D. for example. The soundtrack makes up for this with some really good music though. ‘Down’ by 311 and ‘Date Rape’ by Sublime are modern classics, and the punk/rock groove fits nicely with the game’s pace. Overall, it’s a fine enough audio presentation, but I do wish they would’ve made the custom soundtrack feature just a little more smooth.

The one other good thing about BMX XXX is that the game is long. Many would blame this on level challenges that make you play through half the level before getting to unlock the next one, but the allure of the famous ‘Scores’ videos will keep most gamers glued to their chairs. Never mind that the act of spending practically an hour of playing a game just to unlock a thirty second dance is stupid, but it certainly is what I would call a motivator to keep playing the game. That, and the fact that the levels are pretty fun to go through. Of course the difficulty is ultra-hard, meaning that if you don’t enjoy playing the game, you certainly won’t enjoy playing it for 20-30 hours. The multiplayer is gold though, if you’re friends don’t mind the hilarity of playing ‘Strip Horse’. That has gotten to be the party favorite around here, for somewhat obvious reasons, but the other games involving XXX’s ‘unique’ brand of humor are just as amusing. In short, you’ll be playing this one a long time if you decide to actually get it.

Since the game is certainly tough and unforgiving, it’s tough to recommend a purchase unless you really liked Dave Mirra 2 and consider yourself good at it. Others will want to just rent it as a weekend’s curiosity and maybe see if they’re up to the challenge. It’s good to see Z-Axis trying new things, but I just can’t help but feel a little let down that this game isn’t significantly better in any way then Dave Mirra 2, except now it has monkeys and hookers. If monkeys and hookers mean a lot to you, then by all means get this now. But if you do not own the classic Aggressive Inline yet, pick that up before sampling the XXX.